


It Could Be Worse

by psuedopoetic



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Bonding, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:28:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23113966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psuedopoetic/pseuds/psuedopoetic
Summary: Maybe that's why she went with Louis instead of Violet. She knew he would keep her mind off of reality, versus Violet, who would do nothing but talk about it and make snarky jokes. And while she related to Violet unlike anyone else in the group, she knew she couldn't handle the dark nature right now. She needed a distraction. Someone who always made her feel a bit better, even if they weren't trying to.And Louis was that guy. He always had that nature, ever since she first met him. Even when AJ killed Marlon, Louis still tried to understand, tried to be nice. She was thankful for that, thankful he hadn't made Violet go alone, or left them out in the woods to die.But there's also one thing about Louis: he's incredibly awkward when it comes to things outside of the school, things he's never experienced. He didn't seem to know what to do here, either.
Relationships: Clementine/Louis (Walking Dead: Done Running)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 34





	It Could Be Worse

Clementine hadn't slept well since they started preparing for the Raiders to come. She was terrified thinking about what could happen, if she could lose AJ again. She knew how to handle fear, she felt fear every second of the day, but this was different. Because AJ had been shot once, and so had Louis--if they came, she knew, deep down, they wouldn't get out unscathed.

She couldn't decide who she could live without. She would die before she let AJ die, but would she let Louis die, too? Violet? Ruby? She'd give up anything for AJ to be okay, but she knew along that way she'd lose herself.

It was maddening, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Maybe that's why she went with Louis instead of Violet. She knew he would keep her mind off of reality, versus Violet, who would do nothing but talk about it and make snarky jokes. And while she related to Violet unlike anyone else in the group, she knew she couldn't handle the dark nature right now. She needed a distraction. Someone who always made her feel a bit better, even if they weren't trying to.

And Louis was that guy. He always had that nature, ever since she first met him. Even when AJ killed Marlon, Louis still tried to understand, tried to be nice. She was thankful for that, thankful he hadn't made Violet go alone, or left them out in the woods to die.

But there's also one thing about Louis: he's incredibly awkward when it comes to things outside of the school, things he's never experienced. He didn't seem to know what to do here, either.

"So, uh, that was . . . different."

Clementine hugged her knees close to her chest, trying to disappear into the worn-out sofa. "I'm sorry, I didn't--I didn't know it was you."

She'd had a nightmare, one that she hadn't had in what felt like years: Lee, turned, ripping her apart like walkers had done to so many others. The one that terrified her unlike any other nightmare she'd ever had. 

Of course, it had to happen when the two fell asleep on the couch by the piano of all times. With _Louis_ of all people.

"You wanna talk about it?"

Clementine's shoulders pulled together defensively.

"Okay, so, that's a no."

Her lips pressed together, her brain screaming to just run away from the situation, as far as she could. "It's not your fault, Louis."

He shrugged, laying out his leg so his foot rested by her thigh. "Well, I still feel bad. I just let you, y'know."

"Better than you waking me up," she sighed. "It's like what AJ did to Ruby and--but it's a lot worse."

"Okay, count me in for never doing _that_ ," he joked, putting his hands up in surrender. "If your bite's as bad as your bark, I'm dead."

She smiled weakly, but she knew he could tell his joke didn't ease the situation.

"Was it about AJ's parents?" he asked. "You said they died."

"It wasn't about them." She couldn't meet his eyes, she just couldn't. "They were nice people, and them dying wasn't nice but I haven't really had nightmares about them. Or, I guess I have, but it was about Rebecca--AJ's mom getting to him. When he was born, his mom died, and I had to shoot her. If I was two seconds later, he'd be dead."

She looked up to see Louis' face full of sympathy. "T-That's awful."

"It wasn't fun, I was eleven at the time. Or I think I was. I don't know. But it wasn't that bad, it could've been worse." 

"Clem, you--you shot someone. That's a hard thing."

"You haven't been out there," she snapped defensively. "Not like I have. No one lasts long."

His eyebrows pinched together. "' _Like I have?'_ I've lost people too, you're not the only one."

She held back her response, taking a deep breath, like she always told AJ to do. "I didn't mean it like that. I meant that you've been here this entire time. And it's still standing. Every place I've been to hasn't lasted, and everyone I've ever met dies. All of you have been here from the start."

His face softened, the realization of her words hitting him square in the face. "Holy shit. I'm sorry, I didn't--"

"It's fine, I don't blame you. It's not like you knew."

"I can't imagine what happened out there," he said, fiddling with the strings on the bottom of his shirt. "I've been trying since you came back. After I heard you and AJ talking, I realized what it was like out there--you talked about your feet bleeding until you had to tie them up with your shirt, and I couldn't even imagine that, and then you said _just like we did last time_. Like it'd happen before."

"It has," she replied. "Shoes don't last that long, and even with them, your feet blister after walking dozens of miles a day. But it's not that bad, at least I have both feet."

"That's . . . that's fair, actually."

It was silent, the only sound made by the cicadas outside. They were loud this time of year, but not as loud as when she was a kid. She doesn't remember much from when she was a kid, she was pretty sure she blocked out a lot of it, especially before the apocalypse. But she knew the cicadas were so loud that she didn't sleep sometimes.

"You have nightmares too, right?"

Louis blushed. "Well, actually, I've never really had any. Weird, I know, normally people get those things." He shrugged. "But I guess I'm not really _normal_ , huh?" he said, winking at her.

She laughed slightly, and Louis took that as a win, smiling brightly.

"I have them," she said. "A lot. AJ gets them, too, but not often. He's had things happen to him, but not like--he just can't remember them all. He's too young."

"You get them often?" Louis cringed. "Sorry, that was rude, wasn't it? Yeah, that was definitely prying. Way too go, Louis."

"No, it's fine," she assured, "really, you could've done a lot worse. You're nice about it, anyway, I don't mind." She sighed. "But yeah, I do. Every other night. Some are little things, like weird things that don't even make sense, some are memories, some are just things mashed together to make my worst fear."

"So, I'm gonna take a wild guess and say it _wasn't_ some weird dream that involved unicorns or something?"

She smiled, not wide, or warm, or even one that showed teeth, but a smile nonetheless. "Yeah, not one like that."

He tapped her upper thigh with the toe of his socked-foot. "You can talk to me, Clem." He smiled, that lop-sided smile that always made her feel warm inside. "Try me, I've heard a lot. I can totally beat it."

Louis couldn't. He really, really couldn't, and he knew that. It terrified him what she was going to say. Because he couldn't comprehend what she'd been through. Some things she said sent a chill down his spine, made his stomach flip. Because she would say things, so casually, that seemed unimaginable.

"You know Lee, right?"

"Yeah, you mentioned him before." His mind was racing. "You said he took care of you for a while, when you were a kid."

"I don't even think it was for a year," she said. "I don't know how long it was. Georgia doesn't really have the right seasons to play a guessing game. And I--I'm starting to forget some things, I was only eight back then, but that's why I said him. Because I'm starting to forget some things, but I know one thing: he saved me. Without him, I'd be dead. It isn't like the others. I might've survived without them, found some way to wake up and fight off walkers, or get my way out of Richmond. But without Lee, I would've been dead. He taught me how to survive. How to shoot a gun, everything. He taught me how to survive in this world."

"I'm sorry," Louis said, for once unable to crack a joke. "He seems really important to you."

"He is." She picked at a loose string on her jeans. "It's awful, but every time I tried to picture my dad's voice when I was younger, all I could think of was Lee's. And now . . . now it's hard to remember. Shit, I lost his picture years ago, and every night I have to go over it in my mind so I don't forget him. Because if I forget him, it's like I'm forgetting who I used to be. How far I've come."

"He seems like a great guy."

"He was." She smiled thinly. "He was the best. I know he could have a temper, I saw it sometimes. I saw him kill people, too. I knew so much about him, things he didn't want to tell other people. And he was always honest with me. He never lied or told me what I wanted to hear, he told me the truth. He did what needed to be done, what he thought was right. And most of the time, it was right. As right as things could be back then."

"He left Lilly, right?" Louis asked, finally asking the question that had been gnawing at him for two weeks. "That's what she said, back in the woods."

"Lilly's dad died," Clementine said. "I can't remember his name anymore. Lenny, maybe? Jerry? I don't know. But he died. We got kidnapped. Sorta. It's a long story, I don't wanna talk about it. But we got locked in the people's freezer, and he had heart problems, I think. Got so worked up he just fell out. Lee tried to keep Kenny and Lilly from doing anything rash, but Kenny killed her dad before he could turn. Or maybe he was already turned. I can't remember, I blocked all that out. But Lilly lost it after that. Got really defensive, paranoid. Lee kept telling me to stay away from her, to tell him if she ever said anything. And when some people overan the motel we were at, we got on the road. We stopped for some reason, and Lilly shot this woman. Her name was Carley, she was really nice."

This was _awful_. And this wasn't even all of this part, he could tell that the people who kidnapped them were worse than Lilly shooting the woman. 

"Carley liked Lee, a lot, I think he liked her too. She never told me, but I knew. She always looked at him like I remembered my mom looking at my dad. She colored with me, too." Clementine huffed, like she'd gotten off-track. "Lee left Lilly, he had to, she was out of control. She'd shoot one of us next. Me, probably, because now I know she hated me, even back then. But Lee always did the right thing. The right thing for everyone. And for me. He could never hurt me, no matter what."

Louis felt his heart physically hurt. "I'm . . . I'm sorry, Clem."

"I-It's fine, it was a while ago." It clearly wasn't that fine, not now, at least. "But I had a nightmare about him. That when he turned, he--he got me, and I kept screaming for him to stop. And I was a kid again, helpless, so full of love for him that the thought of leaving him didn't make sense, so I stayed. Even when he told me to leave. And I died."

"Holy shit." Louis didn't know what to say. "I-I can't even imagine what it was like back then."

"It wasn't great. But it's fine now, worse things've happened."

Louis shrugged. "If you say so. How about we go back to sleep?" He smiled. "I'll hold your hand, if you need me to."

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "You're such a dork."

"Hm, maybe I am."

Clementine stood, dusting off invisible dirt as she did. "I have to get back to AJ. He said he was fine, and he could wait an hour or two, but I can't--I need to make sure he's okay."

Luis nodded. "Go see the little dude, I'm not going anywhere."

She smiled, hesitating slightly before she shut the door behind her.

Louis didn't know what just happened. He felt like he'd seen an entirely different side to Clementine, one that, deep down, he knew existed, but he hadn't thought went that deep.

He knew she would never tell him all of it, but he hoped she would tell him some things.

Because he really, really wanted to know about the man that saved Clementine's life. If someone could save _Clementine_ , they must have been something else.

**Author's Note:**

> this is a mess, but i love twdg, clementine, and louis! i don't see too many fics for them, it's mostly violet, and i've always like louis and her more, so tada! louis & clementine oneshot, a bit of a character study on both parts. (also: i miss lee everett, a lot)


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